


His Monsters

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, But The Dark Side’s Worse, Canon Compliant, Conflicted Ben Solo, M/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Poe Dameron, References To The Rise of Kylo Ren #2, The Jedi Order Sucks, injury mention, translations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24243454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Frustrations translating a text are just a cover-up for the real reason Ben’s troubled.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Ben Solo, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 3
Collections: Trope Bingo: Round Fourteen





	His Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Language/Translation
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Poe comes by later, when Ben’s working in the archives on translating a text, a cup of caf by his side, trying in vain to stay awake. There’s something soothing about his presence, something lovely, and Ben feels at peace despite himself. He turns to look at Poe.   
  
“You know,” Poe says wryly, “Going to bed on time is something they teach you from a young age.”  
  
“Droll,” Ben deadpans. “I’m trying to translate this text, and it’s making me mad. It’s not because of it being difficult. It just...” He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It’s the ideals in that text. They make zero sense.”  
  
“Huh.” Poe steps into the Archives in that moment, ever steady. BB-8 wheels in beside him. “I don’t know much about it. You’ll have to enlighten me.”  
  
“It’s...everything. They used to take kids from their families. Like, babies.” Ben sighed. “And then they gave them weapons. Child soldiers, who couldn’t see their families or have attachments, or anything like that.”  
  
“...damn. That’s messed up.” Poe takes a deep breath. “At least they don’t do that any more, right? I mean, there’s Voe, but...something bad happened where she lived, right?”  
  
Ben nods. He remembers that Voe was shamefully neglected by her guardians, drunken idiots who really had no business watching a kid. He can feel sorry for Voe there, even if she’s insufferable. Then again, if he grew up in an environment like that, Ben thinks, he’d probably be constantly pushing himself too. The Voice tries to bring up his parents, but Ben squashes it. At least Mom and Dad did genuinely love him. It wasn’t comparable to Voe’s situation at all.   
  
“But it’s not like they were taking them out of bad environments or...something,” Ben says. “And forbidding attachments...you can’t fail to get attached any more than you can just force your heart not to beat. I mean, should we just become sociopaths, Poe?”   
  
(He isn’t about to insult droids. Others would, but one thing Ben’s learned about growing up with droid nannies is that they can get emotional, even if their faces don’t change)  
  
“You’re right,” Poe says. A sigh. “At least your uncle’s probably done away with that too...”  
  
“He’s trying,” Ben says. “It’s just...sometimes I get the feeling he’s as confused as I am. I’m worried about him; there are times when he just seems ready to give up.” A beat. “It’s just scary. The Grand Master should have all the answers, right?”  
  
“Ben — ”  
  
“And he seems so scared of me too,” Ben says. “I don’t know if it was Elphrona, because...” The text is forgotten, but Ben wishes that he could have was old enough to bring juma to his translating session. _Stupid Republic drinking laws._  
  
Poe furrows his brow. “What happened?”  
  
“I can’t tell you!” Ben protests. “I know you’ll think less of me for it. I know even Tai would...”  
  
Poe’s face softens. “Ben, there is nothing that you could do to make me think less of you.”  
  
Ben can believe Poe believes it, at least. Then, “There was a man. On Elphrona. Uncle Luke, Tekka and I were collecting artifacts. He showed up.” A beat. “You know those stories about how Vader got badly burned on Mustafar? How, even though saving him would have been the Jedi way, Obi-Wan just watched and that was how Vader had to rely on a life support suit? Well, it was like this guy had gotten as burned as Vader was, and he was just flaunting it. He was burned everywhere; even his skin didn’t look like skin because it was so badly burned. Except his face. He looked like he could have been someone’s dad; maybe he was. Dark Siders aren’t supposed to look like that; I always pictured them looking like monsters...”  
  
“So he attacked you?” Poe says.   
  
“That wasn’t the worst part,” Ben says. “I mean, Uncle Luke wasn’t scared. He fought him and his men off.” A faint smile tugs at his lips before he becomes more serious. “But he...spoke to me. Took off his mask. Offered me a chance to join his side. I don’t know if he was just trying to get back at Uncle Luke for beating him...”  
  
“So you think I’ll think less of you for that?” Poe says. “Ben...your uncle resisted Vader and Palpatine. Just because he singled you out doesn’t mean you’re doomed.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Ben says. He sighs. “I’m just scared. I mean, what if I just...kriff up? What if I’m anything like him?”  
  
“Ben.” Poe sounds so certain. “You won’t. I know you. I know that you’re determined, loyal and brave. I know you have honor. Maybe neither of us are perfect, but we don’t have to be. You won’t be him. You’ll become a legend, and this guy...well, he’ll just be a Dark Side sore loser who couldn’t win against a drunken tach.”  
  
Ben chuckles weakly. “I hope.”  
  
Poe is so certain of himself, so certain. Even getting up and leaving the text behind (and the caf), Ben can at least thank the Force that someone as wonderful as Poe is in his life.


End file.
